Pesimistic; xo

So; went out. Wish i never, load of baloney... didn't go town we just went to one drink up/house party in my area. Ended up seeing everyone i've been trying to avoid!!! Due to my foul mood, i drank, yes i know, slap me now. Pissed off isn't the word!! Feel like i've got nobody to talk to so my blog it is....... I can't even infact no, i don't want to explain what happend!! Because, it's not me. I just couldn't take anymore and she severly violated not just me but also my family, but that is still no excuse for my actions :(

Words have cut me deep, gone from the highest high to the lowest low..... cold hearted. Walls have gone from 6ft 7 to 15ft 10. I refuse to cry, yet, tears are streaming down my face. When will all this end?? I still believe that you'll see sense.......eventually...sometime soon....hopefully. Why am i so dependant on your hand?! I'm alot stronger than this, i know i am, so why am i been so bloody tutus?!?!

Shittest month ever!!!; Hopefully November will be better.

Honestly; I truely believe that everyone will hurt me, no matter who you are, or what you say to me, that's just the way i am. I don't trust ANYONE with anything!!
But, then at the same time it feels like im never going to change, but i can't choose to walk away but sometimes you just have to let it go, leave all my fears to burn down, push them all away so i can move on, get closer to my dream, I need to just close my eyes and see what i believe, i'm happy aslong as we're apart then im moving on to my dreams......

Turkish Delight; Hard Exterior, Soft Interior

Blughhh; i've had enough of this now. Im going to stop before it ends up been some dumb blog kmt well its dumb already but oh well.

Night; My Lovlies xo